The Female Orgasm – Demystified

Porn makes coming seem quick and easy for women – a little bit of pussy licking, ass play, and thrusting, and she’s there. Totally possible. But for many women, getting to the top of the mountain isn’t a fast job. That doesn’t mean it’s complicated (necessarily), but variety is usually appreciated.

What does an orgasm feel like?

Put simply, an orgasm feels like an intense buildup of tension in the body (that typically starts in the genital region), followed by a release of energy that results in awesome sensations not just in the genitalia, but all over the place. It’s not a scientific number, but when it comes to orgasms, you know when you’re having one 99% of the time. If you’re not sure, you probably didn’t (but you might have come close). A big physiological giveaway that you've just experienced an orgasm is involuntary muscle contraction. If it feels like your uterus (or vagina) walls, anus, thighs, butt, leg muscles are twitching, that's a pretty clear sign of the big O. These contractions usually occur at 0.8-second intervals, and a woman can experience 3 to 5, or 20 contractions – it's different for everyone.

When you have an orgasm, your body releases a surge of chemicals responsible for the feelings of euphoria and bonding. So, if you feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm, or even sleepy, you know you've just had your pleasure pushed over the edge. You might black out for a split second. That’s why the French call orgasms “le petit mort”—the little death—a moment of darkness followed by a quick trip to paradise.

Are there any benefits to the female orgasm?

We like to think that the number one purpose for female orgasm is fun, but from an evolutionary standpoint, the purpose is that it increases the chance of conception. That said, the female orgasm has a lot of bonuses:

• Boosts the immune system – Forget apples. Regular orgasms are linked to higher levels of the antibody immunoglobulin A, which may protect you from common colds by boosting the immune system.
• Good for your mental health – Sexual hormones may lower rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. They're a 100% natural solution to everyday tension.
• Puts you into a sound sleep – The steep drop in blood pressure and sudden relaxation after the orgasm will help knock you out for a restful slumber. Take a quick nap and you could have another energy for another round.

How many types of female orgasms are there?

Women (just like men) can experience a few different kinds of orgasms – not just the clitoral ones! There are about 5 great ways to have an orgasm:

• Clitoral orgasm – The gold standard of coming. We all think of the clit when we hear the words 'female orgasm.' The clitoral orgasm, as implied from its name, results from direct stimulation of the clitoris, It could feel slow, sharp, bursting, localized, head-toe, short or fast.
• Vaginal orgasm – Also known as ‘G-spot’ orgasms, vaginal orgasms don’t seem to happen for all women. Due to the location of the G-spot (on the front wall of the vagina), vaginal orgasms are generally achieved through direct contact with the G spot. A G-spot orgasm is the most likely to inspire you to squirt .
• Exercise-induced orgasm – This type of orgasm is rare, and depending on what kind of gal you are, disruptive, wonderful, or both. One way to experience an exercise-induced orgasm, you’ll need to get your heart rate up, then really fatigue a particular set of muscles either through cardio or weightlifting. But if it does happen, it will probably come in the traditional way (sort of). Sometimes riding your standing bike, wearing a tight pair of leggings, or straddling a bench while you weightlift will stimulate your clit in just the right way to cause an eruption.
• Orgasm during sleep – It’s not just guys who experience sleep orgasms (also known as wet dreams, for obvious reasons). These orgasms typically begin with a sexy dream, which leads to an elevation of blood blow to the genital region. This, in combination with the complete relaxation associated with deep slumber, then allows the body to reach climax without any added help.
• Other – The clitoris and the G-spot aren't the only pleasure buttons available on the female body. Many women can also orgasm from the stimulation of the nipples, anus, and other sensitive areas. And just like you might come while you're dreaming, you can be so aroused when you're wide awake, the lightest touch, even just the thought of it, can send you over the edge.

Do all women orgasm?

If you’ve ever had trouble coming, you’re not alone. According to research, 10 – 40% of women report having difficulty or an inability to reach orgasm. Usually, the ability to have an orgasm seems to depend on the quality of erotic stimulation they receive. Despite the (mysteriously) popular belief, most women don't seem to orgasm from just intercourse alone. There often needs to be a combination of penetration, manual stimulation, and cunnilingus for that much-coveted wave of pleasure. Women may also experience anorgasmia (inability to orgasm) or vaginismus (pain during intercourse) because of emotional and psychological issues. These can range from stress at work, the pressure to have an orgasm, depression, to unprocessed trauma.

How can I increase my chances of orgasming?

Don’t worry if you haven’t been able to orgasm yet. Here are 5 tips that may help get you there:

• Know your anatomy – Do you know where your clitoris is situated? How about your G-spot? Feel for them. It's true that you can google it, but the only way to know your anatomy is to know your own. Try a hand-mirror in a well-lit room.
• Learn what you like – When you first start exploring your sexuality, it can take a little bit of time to realize what it is that makes you orgasm. Maybe you like light and quick flicks to your clit, or perhaps you can only get off from deep, G-spot stimulation. Masturbate. A lot (if you want). (We recommend a lot.) Does masturbation feel dirty, yucky, shameful, or give you any other negative feelings? Explore that too.
• Strengthen your pelvic floor – Given that many female orgasms involve vaginal contractions, strengthening your pelvic floor can help increase the chances of coming. To do so, you can squeeze the walls of your vagina up and in and hold it for a count of five. Do it whenever possible, and you're bound to notice (and feel) the difference the next time you get frisky. "Geisha balls" can be very useful for this exercise. For many women, whether or not they have an easy time climaxing, they are stunningly effective.
• Communicate with your partner – Tell your partner what you want, when you want it, how you want it. No one needs you to be polite right now. No one you should be sleeping with, anyway.
• Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay – For many women, foreplay is a crucial part of the quest to have an orgasm. So, be sure to engage in lots of sensual kissing, licking, teasing, rubbing and anything else that gets you going.

But remember, nothing we have to say is universal. Understand that orgasms are a unique experience – different women will need different stimulation, and a woman's final waves of pleasure may feel and look wildly different from another. You may require different kinds of stimulation when you're on your period (for example), when you're ovulating, or many other reasons. It's also a learning experience. Rather than pressure yourself to get the prize, enjoy getting there. After all, almost everyone has their first orgasm on accident. Let it surprise you.