Sexting is one of those things that can launch a sex life into the sex level! With that said, just because we’re all sexting doesn’t mean everybody sexts well. Many of us –unfortunately –transfer our horny energy into our smartphones with less-than-satisfactory results. But it doesn’t have to be this way. As with any sex act, practice makes perfect. Here’s how you can become an expert at sexting, without ever resorting to sending out poorly-lit photos of your junk.
Sexting is the perfect foreplay; imagine receiving explicit sexual messages from your partner while you’re doing something mundane at work – it’ll help cultivate anticipation (and thirstiness), which can intensify the physical pleasure when you eventually meet up in person.
Well, the obvious answer is to sext with someone you’re dating. But hey, it’s 2019, and the casual sext is almost as prevalent as (or more than) casual sex. So if you want to initiate some dirty messaging with someone whom you have crazy sexual tension with, go ahead. Only, make sure it’s someone you trust – you don’t want to find your entire racy conversation published on social media for the world to see.
Also, as a general rule of thumb, you should only sext with someone whom you genuinely want to get nasty with; why string someone along when you're not going to f-ck them eventually?
Have you had sex with this person before? If you have, congratulations: you have an easy way in. All you have to do is text them, “I can’t stop thinking about [the last time the two of you had sex.]” And in most cases, your partner will reply with a “Me too,” followed by further dirty talk. There you go: you’re sexting! That wasn’t so difficult, was it?
And if you haven’t had sex with this person before, try bringing up sex in general – if you both can’t get to get between the sheets with each other, your messages will start going from the broad to the specific.
Here are some conversation-starter ideas for you:
You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Besides, sending nudes is risky – you never know when you’ll see nude photos of your body on the internet, or being passed around your group of friends. Also, even if you’re comfortable with sharing nudes, you should never show your face in the pictures. Never. Don’t do it.
By including your face in photos with all your bits out, you give your sexting partner a dangerous power to potentially hold these photos over you. There’s also the risk that other people may be able to get into your partner’s phone; the last thing you want is a random stranger to find your compromising nudes.
So – how do I get started?
Treat sexting as you would foreplay; take your time building sexual tension. The longer it takes, the better. That means you shouldn’t jump straight into sending your partner an unsolicited genital picture. First, it could be bad timing for them – what if their 12-year-old nephew is playing Candy Crush on their phone? And second, they might not be in the right frame of mind to reciprocate. Take it slow and start with safe messages, like, “I’m thinking about you right now.”
If you rarely sext, don't feel like you have to jump into the deep end by sending the filthiest message that comes to mind. You're not writing a porn scene; you're trying to connect with your partner in a sexy, genuine way. That means you shouldn't send messages like, "Can't wait for you to be inside me later, Papi” when you never have – and never will – call your partner Daddy.
Capturing the right angles is critical when it comes to sending pictures or videos – you don't want to reveal too much of your body at one go. Once again, sexting is all about building anticipation. Be sure to only capture strategic parts of your body: a little glimpse of your chest, or that bulge from beneath the pants. Leave the rest to your partner’s imagination.
Shy? Not sure what to write? Well, thankfully, emojis exist. You can now convey your dirty thoughts with just a few touches on your keypad.
Here are a few of the top emojis you can use to express your lust:
Dirty talk is the guiding light for sexting; if you’re ever stared at the blinking cursor on your mobile phone, you can prompt yourself with the following questions:
To keep your sext session going strong, avoid sending one-off lines that eventually fall flat. Embrace the question marks. Get your partner to play an active role by asking them questions like, "What do you want to do to me now?" and "What if I showed up at your work right now and walked into the bathroom – would you follow me in?"
Sexting doesn't need to be only texts and visuals! You can also incorporate voice messages into your routine. But always remember to keep it as natural as possible – you don't want your partner to giggle when they hear your forced sexy voice. Sometimes, all you need are sounds of you pleasuring yourself to get your partner off. Close your eyes and imagine your partner doing all the things you love; record the sounds you’d make and send it.
Sexting is a form of teasing, so have fun with it! Remember that you need to enjoy yourself in the process. If you're following a script or only doing it because you feel like you should, then it's not going to be much fun – nor arousing – for either of you. Now go out there, get some practice, and get your sext on!
