Your first time embracing and acting upon your bisexual feelings by indulging in woman-on-woman sex can be pretty intimidating and nerve-racking. No matter how many porn videos you’ve watched on Pornhub (which FYI, are not realistic at all), you’re ultimately aware that all females are different and like to be stimulated in different ways. So, when you're new to giving sexual pleasure to a female other than yourself, it's beneficial to prepare yourself with some tips and tricks before you plunge your face in. Here's what you need to know.
Sex can be just sex for you, but it may not be for your partner. Before you dive right into it, be sure to have an honest conversation with her.
If you're experimenting with the idea of being bisexual and are not sure you're genuinely bi, let her know. Realize that people are vulnerable in sex – not only are you experimenting with her body, but you're also experimenting with her feelings. Be considerate and ensure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to the future implications of the experience. Is it just a one-night-stand, or do you wish to date her afterward? Have these answers in mind beforehand.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with telling your partner that you’ve never been with a woman before. You can say something like, “Just FYI, I’ve never done this before.” Doing so will manage her expectations; being honest will keep both of you from being blindsided!
Yes, all women are different, but no one's labia is made of concrete. Long, sharp nails are going to cut the tender skin on the inside and outside of your partner's body parts. You want to give her pleasure. So, you should definitely make sure your nails are as short as possible. Bonus points to you if they're smoothly filed.
Before things get properly hot and heavy, and you start using your mouth and tongue to explore every inch of her, you need to start slow. Use your hands. Build up the anticipation. Tangle your hands in her hair, lightly scratch her skin with your nails, and trace your fingertips along her inner thighs. Delay contact with her nether regions for as long as possible. Don't be afraid to breathe on it from outside her panties until she’s practically begging for more. Pay attention to her body: if she’s soaked and arching her back in pure anticipation, it’s time to bring the action up a notch.
Some women don't like having their breasts touched at all. But if your partner is cool with breast and nipple play, then as a general guide, start gently. Cup her boobs gently, trace them lightly with your fingers, kiss them softly. Try not to squeeze or grab. If she’s responding favorably, try licking their nipples, using circular movements interspersed with gentle sucking. By the way, nipple play orgasms are real, so be sure to give the nipples some tender loving care.
If you're daring (or aching) to go past 2nd base, you'll need to get familiarized with fingering someone besides yourself. Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach the big 'O.' With that said, however, your partner might not like the same fingering style as you do: you might come from high-speed friction on your clit, but she may enjoy slow rubbing on the outer lips. An excellent way to get a sense of what she likes is to start circling her clitoris with your fingers, without touching it. Slowly work your way closer to the clit, eventually circling directly on top.
Observe how her body responds to each change: if she's breathing faster and bucking her hips, you know you've hit the jackpot. If you're still unsure, you can always ask for her feedback!
Before sticking your fingers into your partner's vagina, be sure to check if she's comfortable with penetration. If she is, start with one lubed finger and build up – shoving four in at once (unless she specifically asked for it) is probably not a good idea. If your partner is a big fan of penetration, you can also add a dildo or strap-on into the mix; these sex toys can help you better stimulate her G-spot for orgasmic bliss.
Ready to go down on her? Again, starting slowly is a good plan. Use your tongue to lick the clit. Lick it up, down, and basically, all around – but always maintain pressure on the clit. Feel free to try out a couple of different strokes — experiment with making your tongue pointy instead of flat and wide. Gently suck on her clit or try flicking it with your tongue. Be sure to keep your tongue wet!
Now, the only thing you want to avoid doing is to trace the ABCs on her clit. Most women prefer a steady rhythm and pressure, so the ABCs will be too inconsistent for her to feel anything down there.
And when she’s almost coming, where she’s (probably) screaming your name, and pulling your face to her vulva with incredible force, don’t change your tonguing pace! Most of the time, doing the same as what you were doing before is enough to push her over the edge.
Once you’re comfortable and feel like you want to switch it up, there are many positions from which you can pleasure your partner! Here are three of them:
Also, just a (crucial) side note: it is entirely possible to catch STIs from same-sex sex. Given that vulva-on-vulva sex involves the exchange of bodily fluids and skin contact, you could be exposed to STIs like herpes, HIV, and also HPV. For safer sex, consider dental dams and gloves. Nothing is sexier than staying sexually healthy.
As you probably already know by now, women generally take longer than males to orgasm, and some find it hard to manage at all. So don't despair if you've already gotten there, and your partner is nowhere near the finish line, or vice versa. You can stop any time both of you don't feel like it anymore.
Ultimately, you need to remember that an orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of a satisfying sexual experience. And of course, practice makes perfect – this is your first bisexual experience, after all. With more sexy romps in bed with fellow women, the more likely you’ll manage it in the future.
