Our culture is steeped in prescribed sexual roles for heterosexual men and women: for centuries, the idea has always been, 'Men do. Women receive.' But now, many thanks to media portrayals (hello, Broad City, and Deadpool), the idea of what a heteronormative relationship looks like is changing. We're (thankfully) beginning to realize that there are many ways straight men can have sex. As a result, more and more men are now experiencing the joys of pegging.
Also known as 'Bend Over Boyfriend,' pegging defines the sexual practice in which a woman anally penetrates her male sexual partner with a strap-on dildo. The term was 'officially' coined back in 2001 when it won a contest by sex columnist Dan Savage hosted to name the act. Since then, its become a very popular sexual addition.
The switch in sexual roles can make women feel powerful and in control; there's something very sexy about being the person who's doing the penetrating during sex that cannot be replicated during 'regular' sex. Getting the chance to watch their male partners writhe and squirm under them, wholly taken with pleasure, is also highly arousing for many 'peggers.'
And for the 'peg-ees’ (men)? Well, mind-blowing pleasure. The truth is that anal sex feels terrific for men. First of all, men have this magical walnut-sized gland – called the prostate – located just inside the anus that’s thought to be the male g-spot. When stimulated, men can experience waves of orgasms. Yes, without ever touching the penis!
Also, some males may enjoy the psychological aspect of being pegged. Some may get turned on from the kinkiness of the act itself, while others may enjoy finally given the chance to feel submissive and vulnerable in bed – a common sexual desire!
This is a simple question to answer: not at all. Your partner is not gay just because he likes getting pegged. No matter how you look at it, the physical act of pegging, where a woman puts a strap-on into a guy's butt, is heterosexual. Think about it: anal play, by itself, isn't a homosexual act.
Think about it another way: would you consider a male having anal sex with his female partner gay? No? Well, the same logic applies to a female having anal sex with a male. Unless, of course, your partner is fantasizing about the dildo being some guy's veiny dick while you're plundering him. Otherwise, no, he's not gay.
Pegging does take a bit of planning; here are the materials you’d need to get in advance for the act:
This may seem obvious, but there are few things worse than surprise anal sex. Especially if your man has never had anything stuck up his ass before. So, yes, you should have an open conversation with your partner before you attempt any remotely butt-related.
Set the boundaries while you're both level-headed – it might be helpful also to talk through each step of what you plan to do, so there are no big surprises.
Shopping for the gear together can be an excellent way to build up the experience and feel connected. Also, this gives your partner a say on the dildo that’ll be inserted into his anus.
Just a tip: if your partner is new to anal play, do not go full-monty and buy a 10-inch bright orange dildo, as much fun as that sounds. Stick to something smaller – the prostate is two inches in. You don’t have to buy a yardstick.
Pegging is not the time to go from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds. Don't just plunge right in. You see: for anything to enter the anus, the anal sphincter (a ring of muscles) needs to be relaxed. And the best way to do so? Foreplay. Everything you like to get your partner aroused, be it kissing, handjobs, oral, do it here. Get him turned on, relaxed, and in the mood to try something new.
When you get going, don’t be stingy with the lube (there’s no such thing as too much), and go slowly. Take the lead from your partner. If he tenses up, getting penetrated can hurt for him. A good rule of thumb is for you to penetrate a little, then stop and wait for him to get used to the feeling.
You don't have to stare into space while waiting; play with his penis, balls, or nipples to keep him aroused and relaxed. Then, continue inch by inch, until he feels comfortable and you hit a good stride.
It can be difficult for your partner to relinquish his sexual control, especially if he’s new to getting penetrated. So, in cases like this, you should let him choose the position, or put him in one that gives him as much control as possible to set the thrusting pace.
Here are a few great options to experiment with:
Ultimately, if you're down, and he's down, pegging can be a great sexual act to try. But you have to make sure that your partner genuinely wants it. Under no circumstances should you pressure him into getting penetrated; because if done incorrectly and unsafely, pegging can hurt. Not just physically, but also emotionally. And hurting your partner is the opposite of what pegging is all about.
Have you gotten a fuck yes consent from your partner? Awesome. Now, go forth, pegging friends – it’s time to plow him like a queen.
