Figuring out whether she's crushing on you can be pretty tricky. You could be talking to her at a party for three hours, but still end up unsure. Don't worry. Here are the top ways to get a read on her and tell whether she's sweating you hard or not.
Do you often catch her looking your way, even when you’re preoccupied with other people? Does she seek to make eye contact with you when the two of you are talking, and does she watch your eyes and face while speaking to you? Subconsciously, whether we know it or not, we look at people we like and avoid looking at people we don’t like. We can’t help it.
So, if you notice that she can’t keep her eyes off you, then surely she’s intrigued by you. You should also watch out for prolonged eye contact – if she’s got the hots for you, she’ll hold your gaze more directly, and for a more extended period, she wants to be present at the moment with you. Don't confuse this with the mandatory eye contact that service people (servers, baristas, bankers, etc) make with you. Flirtatious eye contact is an unusual amount of eye contact, that's more than the average you get in your normal social interactions. Also, it usually involves some of the extra things below.
Is she copying your gestures or the words you use? Does she get excited or exhibit high energy levels when you do? If she's always mirroring you with her facial expressions, body language, and energy levels, there's a high chance that she's majorly into you. Why? Well, because research shows that 'behavioral mimicry' indicated attraction; you can treat 'mirroring' like a love detector.
The more we feel like we're connecting with someone, the more likely we are to copy what they're doing. Keep an eye out for her behavior the next time you're talking to her. If you like to move your hands a lot when you converse and she's suddenly doing the same, she's sending a strong sign of rapport and – perhaps – sexual attraction.
If you're killing it with her, at some point, she's going to let her guard down and share more personal information with you. You can take this as a sign that she sees you as someone she trusts and likes. So what kind of information should you keep an ear out for? Well, stuff like the things that scare her, or that tragic thing that happened when she was younger. You know, all those things she wouldn't typically say to other people.
You can forget about making concrete plans to meet her if she's not into you. But if she likes you, she'll be eager to set a definite date or time to meet again. Think about it this way: no one wants to commit to something next Wednesday night – when they can laze around in bed with Netflix and Mac and Cheese – unless they genuinely want to spend their time with you.
And of course, if she's the one who initiates the meet-up, she's pretty direct. Just take the hint already – she's 100% attracted to you.
Many women get nervous and shy around people they're crushing on. They want to make a good impression, after all. But – how can you tell if she's nervous? Watch for these three tell-tale signs:
Does she stay in regular contact with you? Think about how the both of you communicate – does she frequently touch base with you, and for no other reason than to see how you’re doing, ask about your day, or just let you know she’s thinking about you? Does she converse with you above and beyond a need-to-know basis? If she does all the above, it’s highly likely that you remain on her mind even though you’re out of sight: a definite sign of attraction.
If she likes you, she’ll want to find out anything and everything about you – from your favorite ice cream flavor to deep, intimate questions about your life. You can take it as proof that she’s encouraging you to open up and let her into your life on a deeper, more personal level.
And here's a quick giveaway as to whether she's just a busybody: does she consistently make an effort to keep the conversation going even when there's awkward silence? Most nosy people would back off after not getting much headway; if she perseveres, it's a great sign that she likes you.
Women tend to share almost everything – their plans, what their plans are for the next few weeks, and who their crushes are, etc. – with their friends. So if her friends know about your existence, that's a huge sign she digs you.
She might even invite you for a night out with her friends so that they can ask personal questions and determine if you'd be a suitable romantic partner for their close friend. And if you find that her friends are always giving you both private space and the chance to be alone together while out, you can (almost) be sure that she's into you.
Touch is one of the most significant mutual attraction signs, so if you always find yourself on the receiving end of an 'accidental' foot bump or arm graze, she might be flirting with you. Another indicator that she's interested in you is if she starts preening you; this means fixing a piece of your clothing, like your tie, that's crooked and picking lint off your clothes.
You can also test out whether she likes you by lightly touching her. If she recoils from your touch when she's typically a touchy-feely person with other people, then that's not a good sign.
As you probably already know from personal experience, when people other than your most intimate friends, partners, or family stand too close, you'd feel the immediate need to step back within what you think is a safe zone. Women, especially, get very territorial about their personal space. So, if you notice that she allows you in her space – or even leans in closer to you, she's interested in you.
By now, you must have an inkling as to whether she wants to date you or not. If you think she doesn't, don't get too hung up over it - there are plenty of fishes in the sea! But if she does, what are you waiting for? Ask her out already!
