The advent of the Internet has opened up a wide range of possibilities for many who wish to chat with, and meet new people. But that doesn't mean you should ignore common sense safety. This guide is a good start.
It might sound ridiculous to you, but you need to Google yourself. Doing so allows you to know what personal information you have on the World Wide Web that's readily available to any random person with a working laptop and an Internet connection. Based on what comes up from a simple search of your full name, you may want to delay meeting up IRL (in real life) for a week or two. You know, just to make sure that they’re not a creep. And in the meantime, you could try deleting digital traces of you that you’re not comfortable with. Do you have Facebook pictures that give away the address of your house? Or –do you have tweets that divulge your work location? Be sure to set all your social media profiles to private henceforth.
Just because you're building up a great rapport with your new-found digital friend, doesn't mean that you can give away your phone number, address, and last name. Unfortunately, until the day you interact with them IRL, you still need to consider them as 'strangers' –they may not be who they say they are, after all. Imagine if a creep showed up at your office! So, as a general rule, you should stick to using your first name only during initial conversations and only provide more detailed personal information after you've verified that they are real and you've both gotten to know each other well.
As much as possible, you want to avoid linking your online chatting profiles with your social media accounts. Don’t mention your handles, either. Just think about the sheer volume of data you’ve posted over time. Even if you only have accounts on Facebook and Instagram, that’s still quite a bit of information you’ve put out in the digital world. If someone can identify you in cyberspace, it’s highly likely that –given the appropriate online research tools –they can also find you in the 'real world.' So, not only do you have to avoid any mention of your social media accounts, but it’d be best for you to update your privacy settings, as mentioned earlier.
You might not know this, but the profile pictures you set on social media can reveal a lot more than you realize. All someone has to do is drop your photos into Google Image Search, and all sorts of identifying information about you will be brought up. Scary! To prevent this privacy breach, take a whole fresh set of pictures to use, instead of reusing images from your existing Internet profiles.
You’re a massive fan of Stranger Things (a Netflix original series). So are they. You love Dalmatians. So do they. When you feel like you’re quickly clicking with someone, it can be tempting to rush out for a meet-up after only one or two conversations –especially if you're in a dry spell. But resist the urge to move too fast. Otherwise, you may find yourself stuck in a sketchy situation. It's advisable to wait a few weeks before you meet face-to-face.
And even then, try to move the conversation from text-based exchanges to voice, or video calls. Not only would you get a better sense of whether your personalities click, but you’d also get the opportunity to verify their identity. If they don’t look or sound like who they say they are, feel free to cut off all contact.
If you’ve chatted for a few weeks, shared a few laughs over a phone or video call, and everything seems legit, you can proceed to meet up. For the first few face-to-face interactions, avoid going somewhere private. Instead, meet at a public place where there are plenty of people around, like a café, restaurant, museum, or ice-skating rink.
Here's an additional tip: you should always either drive yourself to and from the meet-up or take public transportation. Having your 'friend' pick you on your first meeting is a terrible idea. Not only would they know where you live, but you'll also be stuck in a car with a stranger whose intentions you're not sure of. Save the joint car rides for a later date –if you both genuinely enjoy each other's company, there'll be plenty of time for that.
Make sure at least one trusted friend, or family member, knows who you are meeting, when, and where. Set up a time to check in with each other during your meet-up; don't be shy to head to the toilet now and then to share that you're safe and having a good time. This way, in the unfortunate event that anything sketchy happens, at least someone will know when to start looking for you and where to do it.
Also, even if nothing terrible happens –the far more likely scenario, knowing that someone you trust has your back will probably help ease your nerves and enjoy the meet-up more than you would have.
The moment you feel like things are going sideways–no matter whether it's a palpable lack of chemistry or a sense that your 'friend' isn't a safe bet, leave. Don't feel bad about it – remember that you don't owe anyone your time. If you’re feeling uncomfortable in their presence, something is wrong. Period.
But how do you ensure a speedy departure? Well, you could either go old school and have a friend call you, or install a Fake Call application on your mobile phone. Either way, the moment your phone starts ringing, you have an excuse to step out and pretend that there's been an urgent situation you need to tend to.
If you’re seeing each other for the first time in a place that serves alcoholic drinks, like a bar or restaurant, keep your intake to a minimum. You should know from experience that it’s much more challenging to stay aware of your surroundings and make good choices when you’re drunk as hell. So –instead of downing five beers one after another, maybe just stick to one glass of nerve-settling wine.
Ultimately, the vast majority of people you meet online are sincere in their desire to meet a long-term friend or partner. Provided that you take some steps to protect yourself, meeting someone you know IRL via the Internet is generally no more dangerous than spending time with a person you met some other way.
