Maybe you do want to ask, but you'd rather google it. Welcome to Doublelist, we have your answers.
Unfortunately, yes. We recommend laughing it off. When you orgasm, the muscles around your genitals (and also the ones around your butthole) relax, so it’s easy for a little gas to escape. If your partner freaks out (which they probably won’t), ask your partner if it’s better to fart, or to be an asshole.
Except for the rare few, most of us don’t include farting in our repertoire of sexual turn-ons. So, if you’re worried about it, there’s always over-the-counter gas medication. It also helps if you’re pooping on schedule.
Postpartum, the vagina doesn’t snap back into place like a rubber band (of course). But for most women, it’s unlikely to be permanent, especially to make it like “throwing a hot dog down a hallway,” as they say. If it doesn’t seem to be in the shape it once was, practicing pelvic floor exercises – like Kegels – can help strengthen these muscles and help shrink your vagina down to (nearly) its pre-pregnancy state. Pelvic-floor physical therapy is always an option, and there’s even the option for noninvasive laser procedures. Vaginal rejuvenation gets a bad rap, but it’s quick, it doesn’t hurt much, and we believe a woman should do whatever she wants with her vagina.
Contrary to popular belief, anal sex – as long as you’re relaxed and enjoying it – will not give your hemorrhoids! Huzzah! Some researchers even believe that anal may help prevent hemorrhoids. However, anal play can irritate or worsen existing hemorrhoids, so be sure to get them treated if you already have them.
In case you don’t already know, hemorrhoids (also known as piles) are swollen, twisted varicose veins in the lower part of the anus and rectum. They don’t normally hurt, but they can be itchy and uncomfortable. (If they do hurt, the burst varicose veins may be causing a blood clot, which you’ll need a doctor to remove.)
No. Watching porn is normal (and fun). If your partner seems to have an addiction (pornography is causing other aspects of their lives to become unmanageable), that’s a different story. Sometimes people can get a little too accustomed to watching porn, or a certain kind of porn. If that’s an issue, it just requires a little retraining. Just stop using it for a while. It’s ok if your partner can’t come the first few times while they’re on a “cleanse.” Whatever you’ve got going on, communicate.
Some people consider porn to be cheating. We think that’s absurd, but we all get to set our own boundaries when it comes to sex and relationships (even when they’re rooted in puritanical beliefs that only cause problems).
If your partner has trouble ejaculating, it could be a few things. His mind could be wanderin: maybe he's distracted or stressed about work. He could be intoxicated. He’s most likely to have an orgasm if he’s relaxed (but sober) and in the present. If this has happened more than once, he might feel like there’s a pressure to “perform.” That’s a proven boner-killer. You guys can have fun whether or not he has erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes deep insecurities or traumas need to be taken care of in individual or couple’s therapy. We know that some people have a problem going to therapy, and that’s absolutely fine, as long as you don’t mind things staying the same.
He could have erectile dysfunction for a variety of biological reasons, and if he suspects as much, he can see a doctor and solve the problem at the pharmacy. It’s worth checking out, and sometimes a little medical intervention (Viagra) works so well, those other issues won’t matter.
Technically, no, but everyone is free to decide if it matters. For women, penetration alone rarely results in orgasm, and non-penetrative stimulation (like oral) is more likely to get her off anyway. In general, if we’re just talking about anatomy, the old “motion in the ocean” adage is 100% true. And like any interaction, confidence is going to count for a lot. “Big Dick Energy” is an attitude. Also, if you want a realistic experience of penetrating your partner with more...intensity, think like a lesbian. Yes, men (ones with small penises, and also transmen) can and do wear strap-ons.
Honestly, you can’t. If you suspect your partner is faking it, ask. But don’t take it personally or approach them confrontationally. Ask whether or not it has anything to do with you--there’s a good chance it’s about something else completely. When you ask, ask what you can improve on. Ask your partner to be open with you about their desires and fantasies. Most importantly, you should both make sure that you’re not making orgasm the goal. The only kind of sexual pressure that’s fun is the kind that’s against your g-spot (or clit, or prostate). The more fun you’re having, the more you’re in the now, the more mind-blowing your sex will be.
Sometimes people don’t know how to handle an issue that’s keeping them from coming, so they’ll blame you instead. Those people need some alone time to work on themselves.
Why not? You’re already covered in your partner’s sweat, bodily fluids, and saliva, what’s a little menstrual blood? There’s no reason to avoid sex during your period. We suggest laying down a towel first. We also suggest giving your partner a heads up – unexpected blood can inspire a strong reaction in some people (like fainting). Don’t skip condoms or birth control: there's still a possibility of pregnancy, and you're more vulnerable to STIs when you're on your period.
If your boyfriend's penis stinks, it's because he needs to wash it. It’s understandable if you don’t want to put your face in it (unless you do!). How you address the issue depends on your partner's personality and how comfortable you are talking about sex. If he's got a good sense of humor and is relaxed about sex, you can afford to be blunt. Just say, 'Hey, you smell pretty awful down there, get in the shower!’ And if he's more sensitive, or you want to keep the mood going, go for the smoother option of suggesting a shower together. Then, you can wash his penis under the guise of manual stimulation.
Yes, of course – masturbating is 100% normal. As long as it's not causing problems in your relationship or consuming every part of your life, go for it! If you’re doing it so much that you can can’t orgasm any other way, give it a breather and mix it up a little.
Congrats – you know more about sex than you did a few minutes ago! If you have a question didn’t come up on the list, you can always let us know.
