Christmas: Will you get to 3rd Base Under the Mistletoe?

Number one—I’ve been kind, honest, regimented about chores, and I worship a punishing God.

Listen, there is no “naughty list” and we know it.

Somewhere in the middle—I am a registered voter, but on the other hand, I did know that was Carol’s lunch in the breakroom that one time.

Can’t say I’m number one, but I made the top 10.

Confidently in the middle—whatever it was, I apologized.

A plant with oval, evergreen leaves, waxy red berries, and a woody stem.

A plant with oval, evergreen leaves, waxy white berries, and a woody stem.

A parasitic plant that attaches itself to a “host” tree, with cute white berries that can technically kill you.

An evergreen plant with spiny, glossy leaves and red berries—can be a shrub or a climber.

It’s a plastic thing the office manager bought at a craft store.

I signed up and then never bought them anything.

I gave them all the office supplies they habitually steal from me.

I spent over the $20 limit to foment jealousy and disorder.

I got them gloves that no one in the world would ever wear.

I got them a gift card for an amount that won’t be quite enough to get anything good.

All I Want for Christmas is You, by Mariah Carey

Last Christmas, by Wham

White Christmas, as sung by Bing Crosby

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, as sung by Michael Buble

Do They Know It’s Christmas, by Band Aid

In Pasadena, CA.

In Santa Claus, Indiana.

In Lapland.

In Greenland.

In Germany.

Die Hard

Edward Scissorhands

Gremlins

Lethal Weapon

LA Confidential

A sweatshirt you wrote “ugly Christmas sweater” on in Sharpie.

The kind with actual tinsel attached to it, that you can therefore never wash.

The kind that references a Christmas movie.

The kind that was unironically made by a grandma.

The nightmare-scenario ugly Christmas sweater that is guaranteed to win the contest. (1)

Yes

No

Latkes. Where is my Hanukkah quiz??!!

Turkey.

Gravy.

The entire cookie plate.

Victorian nerds made Christmas trees a thing because the main tradition was getting hammered, and that worried them.

Jingle Bells is a Thanksgiving song.

Christmas was once illegal in America.

America’s biggest Christmas tree farm is in Florida.

Christmas: Will you get to 3rd Base Under the Mistletoe?

Where do you stand on Santa’s List this year?

What is mistletoe, exactly?

Which of the following Secret Santa offenses have you committed?

Pick a Christmas song:

Where is Santa’s Workshop?

Which controversial “Christmas” film will you defensively praise for too long to someone who is just trying to get to the snack table?

What kind of ugly Christmas sweater are you?

Do you, or have you ever, wished someone a “Happy Festivus?”

What’s your favorite Christmas food?

Which one of these fact about Christmas isn’t real?